The one sure thing in life...... is change. I have had a lot of thoughts and feelings running through me lately. It has been difficult to find the time to sit down and write about them. SIGH.....Time management, just one of the many things that I am finding different/challenging since my latest surgery.
Physically, I am feeling pretty good. I have started riding my bike and going for long walks. Trying to recover some of the physical strength lost since my most recent surgery. Physical strength is not the only thing that seems to come and go during my cancer treatment. Right now, I seem to be struggling with memory (chemo fog-BIG time) multi-tasking, focusing, organizing, and the ability and desire to get through my beloved to-do lists.
I have been challenged on this front before. Long ago, Fibromyalgia forced me to accept that I have different limits than my peers 😒. It was difficult at first. I experienced anger and frustration that I didn't have the energy to do everything I wanted during the course of a day. If I did "too much," I would pay for it with muscle aches that felt like the flu and a day or two in bed. BLAAHH!! Now I am moving at an even slower pace. I don't know why this is taking me by surprise. After all, it is cancer treatment, not for the faint of heart. I continually bump up against my lack of patience in one regard or another.
Lots of opportunity to increase my patience throughout this experience, Ha Ha. I am reminded of a scene from a movie (of course I can't remember the name of it with my chemo brain right now.) But a woman is speaking with God. In her previous prayers, she asks God to bless her with patience. In the conversation, she questions why her patience has not improved. God tells her that when she asks for patience, He blesses her with the OPPORTUNITIES to choose to apply patience. In our human way of doing things, we ask for a change and expect it right away. That is not always God's way. I am trying to trust in His timing and His way of doing things.
