Feeling.......?

I often look for images or art work that can convey what I am feeling in a given moment.  I think this woman/statue represents some feelings I have been grappling with lately.  I have been "listening" to the feelings and trying to make sense of them, trying to understand them.  Loss..... I feel like I have lost a sense of normalcy through the ongoing cancer treatments.  I certainly have lost an ability to work in the same capacity I was accustomed to before.  I am REALLY bothered by that and wondering if I will ever get back to "normal," in that regard.  How things were BC (before cancer).  Maybe I never will.  Perhaps I will come to construct a "new normal" and learn to be okay with that in time.  I hope so.

I am learning that I can mourn character traits that were important to me.  Some traits make me feel like....me.  When I no longer seem to have them, I miss them.  (Multi-tasking, anyone?  Maybe losing that ability isn't so bad....)

On the flip side, I can see myself shedding some undesirable traits as well.  An unforgiving heart, for example.  An ability to let go of past hurts and perceived wrongs.  Grudges that I held on to for years, going..going....GONE!  Now, if I could just figure out how to keep all the good traits/abilities from BC and lose all the bad traits, then I could be SUPERWOMAN!!